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fackingmoarkewkies:

fuckingrecipes:

SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER.
GET SOME FRUIT.
BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT.
BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.
PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES.

NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER.
YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE?
TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER.
I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER.
FUCK.
WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’
IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE.
TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT.

Calm down, Karkat

Post 16 hours ago

ifyouhadwings:

zip-a-dee-lady:

but can any of you top this sims glitch?

yet another unrealistic standard for women

Post 16 hours ago

Post 2 days ago

golarryorgohome:

1d-makes-me-feel-beautiful:

i fucking love you.

i love how he takes off his hat…

(Source: stilies, via cloudyweeks)

Post 2 days ago

its funny because people think im quiet

but im just listening to everyones conversations

and figuring out your weaknesses

and ill use them against you to get further in life

because i hate everyone

(via jollyoldsaint-nicolascage)

Post 2 days ago

crowleys-angel:

crayolaxmonster:

tayvengeance:

4rcticmonkey:

Sometimes i talk in song lyrics and my friends don’t even notice

sometimes I talk in Mean Girls quotes and no one notices

Sometimes I talk and nobody notices

At first it was funny but then it got kind of sad

Just like my social life

(Source: brendonboredurie, via icurlyfries)

Post 2 days ago

“The best thing about acting is that I get to lose myself in another character and actually get paid for it… It’s a great outlet. I’m not really sure who I am - it seems I change every day.”

(via icurlyfries)

Post 2 days ago

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